Coffee & Anxiety?

As we're in the corporate world, we really can't avoid Coffee or Caffeine...or even if you're a student. Need the energy and booster for you to get through the night without sleeping, but studying.

My coffee intake increase significantly once I started working in a new firm in November 2021. As they provide the free flow coffee from the coffee maker, I would usually get 1 cup of white coffee in the morning, and 2 cups after lunch. Can easily imagine the amount of sugar and caffeine in the cups of coffee. That is my intake per day. 

At first, I was sooooo happy and excited ! got my morning coffee fixed everyday! free flow, all day, as much as I want! yeayyy! Eventually, after almost a year, the pressure and work thingy starting to piled up and makes me feel different. Been questioning almost everything, everyday. Why? What if? How come? What to do?

Peak 2022 came, where I started to have my own portfolios and juniors to lead, starting to have own quarter audit to lead and monitor, on top of the normal audit engagement. Oh just in case, the peak usually falls on December - February/March every freaking year. Started the cycle, went home from office late night after dinner and came back to office the next day as usual. This is when the coffee was reaaallyyyy a great booster. But it also comes with a never ending overthinking in my head. Overthinking, procrastination, anxious feeling all the time, and avoiding seeing people.

It became worse, it is like I have been arguing with myself all the time. Always playing the worse scenario in my head. Always anticipate the most bad thing to happened to me, workwise. Adding the coffee intake daily. I was really in a bad situation, mentally. My mind can't be at ease at all. At night, before falling asleep, keep thinking what will happen tomorrow? I keep thinking, there are still so many things to do, dont know where to start, what to prioritize. I even dreamt of work during my sleep. That was how bad my mind were back in those days.

Lost my passion, interest to do work. Don't even want to see people. Most of the time, being in a cranky mood and always silent. 

Fast Forward, to after my resignation. Xmas 2023, after sooo many thinking and consulting. I just cant wait to start a new journey, reset my whole daily routine and purpose. Been stuck with audit and improper work life balance since 2019 - 2023. During the interval, after resigning - waiting for reporting to new job, I did not consume any coffee for about a month. It changes my life drastically. Soo much less overthinking, no more arguing with myself, sleeps very well and sooo much more!

I can conclude for myself that the caffeine intake will affect my body soooo bad. So now, I have the time and a little power to control my caffeine intake and my daily routine. I love coffee so much, but sometimes the things we love are not good for us. And moderation in everything is the key. MODERATION.

So that's my story on coffee/caffeine intake. It does affect our body, be it big or small. 

Bye!!