Beyond My Expectations

 Back then when I was trying so hard to escape from the Assurance/Audit field, I would take any opportunity that been given to me.

This includes the opportunity given by my former ACCA lecturer, to be tutor in his tuition centre. It's like a new experience that I never thought I could do. 

Went for the mock teaching twice for a different subject/paper. Unfortunately, I didn't get the position. On the other hand, I do received another offer as an Internal Audit and I accepted it since I didn't get through the mock teaching. Took it as not my rezeki tho.

Fast forward to 2025, one of my former officemate, ask me if I would help her to tutor a non-accounting student for her. The student was her student previously, but she was occupied with her wedding preparation hence no time for the tutoring.

The student was in Degree in Real Estate Management I guess. This is her last chance to pass the accounting paper, after 2 failed attempt. If she fail this final chance, she would need to repeat her degree all over again. Imaaaginneee the pressure on meeee to guide and help her pass this time! >.<

Noooo, belum cukup penuh lagi schedule I. I already got my part time class on Saturday. And nowwwww, with no experience at all, limited guidance, no proper syllabus guide, I just teach her according to the exam question paper. Teaching basic accounting for the non accounting students. It was like, I got my strength and spirit again. It was also like, now I know my purpose, I love sharing the things / knowledge that I know and I have.

Fast forward to February 2026, her final exam. She passed the paper and scored A! It was definitely beyond my expectations and so proud of her!

This mark a new journey, new experience and new talent that I found within myself. But maybe can start with basic accounting for non-accounting students.

Till next post, more new things to discover? hehe XOXO

2025 never been better

 It's November already. more than a year since my last post. Too many things happening, too many emotions that needs to be taken care of.

August 2024 - Lost my beloved uncle, the one who always took care of me since my primary years.

September 2024 - Our whole family moved in with my grandfather, since he lives alone after my uncle passed. Moving out for good, staying at my grandfather's house for good.

September 2025 - We lost our lovely grandfather. At the age of 93 Years Old, he was a living legend. Really hit us hard.

2025 really is a weird year for us, me. suddenly got the courage to pursue my studies in professional certificates (Certified Internal Auditor). Finally got the courage to apply for ACCA Membership, which cost me almost RM1.7k for the membership application fees. HAHA!

Also, finally got the courage to make and try to sell the typical Popia Carbonara. Suddenly my 7days are fully occupied;

Monday - Friday: Working days

Saturday: Part Time Class (9AM - 4PM)

Sunday: Part Time Tutoring for Accounting Subject

I remember when I was in high school, always got bored during weekends sbb there's nothing that I can do, nowhere to go, all the time at home. Said to myself "I'll make sure there's always things for me to do everyday or on weekends". And now, I don't even have the time for myself. But I am happy, as I get to do so  many different things at a time. most of the things that I love; learning, accounting, giving back to the juniors.

I also remember the moment while I was driving home from UiTM Segamat, with my friend, we talked about business. what he wants to do, in business terms. I remember I told him that I was still searching for something that I am happy to do, but can turn into a great business. Not something that I felt forced doing it. And now, I get to make my favourite popia carbonara and still earn money. just for side hustle and for fun. 

Looking back at everything that I have today, it was something that i prayed before.

I’m walking in the answers to prayers I whispered years ago 💖

Coffee & Anxiety?

As we're in the corporate world, we really can't avoid Coffee or Caffeine...or even if you're a student. Need the energy and booster for you to get through the night without sleeping, but studying.

My coffee intake increase significantly once I started working in a new firm in November 2021. As they provide the free flow coffee from the coffee maker, I would usually get 1 cup of white coffee in the morning, and 2 cups after lunch. Can easily imagine the amount of sugar and caffeine in the cups of coffee. That is my intake per day. 

At first, I was sooooo happy and excited ! got my morning coffee fixed everyday! free flow, all day, as much as I want! yeayyy! Eventually, after almost a year, the pressure and work thingy starting to piled up and makes me feel different. Been questioning almost everything, everyday. Why? What if? How come? What to do?

Peak 2022 came, where I started to have my own portfolios and juniors to lead, starting to have own quarter audit to lead and monitor, on top of the normal audit engagement. Oh just in case, the peak usually falls on December - February/March every freaking year. Started the cycle, went home from office late night after dinner and came back to office the next day as usual. This is when the coffee was reaaallyyyy a great booster. But it also comes with a never ending overthinking in my head. Overthinking, procrastination, anxious feeling all the time, and avoiding seeing people.

It became worse, it is like I have been arguing with myself all the time. Always playing the worse scenario in my head. Always anticipate the most bad thing to happened to me, workwise. Adding the coffee intake daily. I was really in a bad situation, mentally. My mind can't be at ease at all. At night, before falling asleep, keep thinking what will happen tomorrow? I keep thinking, there are still so many things to do, dont know where to start, what to prioritize. I even dreamt of work during my sleep. That was how bad my mind were back in those days.

Lost my passion, interest to do work. Don't even want to see people. Most of the time, being in a cranky mood and always silent. 

Fast Forward, to after my resignation. Xmas 2023, after sooo many thinking and consulting. I just cant wait to start a new journey, reset my whole daily routine and purpose. Been stuck with audit and improper work life balance since 2019 - 2023. During the interval, after resigning - waiting for reporting to new job, I did not consume any coffee for about a month. It changes my life drastically. Soo much less overthinking, no more arguing with myself, sleeps very well and sooo much more!

I can conclude for myself that the caffeine intake will affect my body soooo bad. So now, I have the time and a little power to control my caffeine intake and my daily routine. I love coffee so much, but sometimes the things we love are not good for us. And moderation in everything is the key. MODERATION.

So that's my story on coffee/caffeine intake. It does affect our body, be it big or small. 

Bye!!

Where things started to feel wrong.......

 Hi there!

It has been what, 7 to 8 months since my last 'fresh start' post? haha! But here I am, again. Not going anywhere, just thought maybe the year 2023, was when I went through my mid-life crisis....

This is the year when I realized, the things that we love might not be the best for us. I have been praying, or subconsciously aiming to be working in one of the established Audit Firm since I was 19 years old. Eventually,  I got in at the age of 28. It was a dream came true, life goals, and can also say the peak of my dream.

2nd year, when the reality and challenges hit me hard. The things that you dream of, might not be the best thing for you. or maybe just, it does not suit my way of working or do things. where you are 1000% independent, do everything on your own, your superior are too busy with their portfolios to even check on you and guide you. Being ignored on emails, teams chat, and eventually, saying that you are not meeting your KPI since they are unaware of what you have done or working on. What they know is, everything is ready for them to report, submit and present to the bosses. But they never care who did the preparation.

I don't think I can grow with this kind of environment. These are just the normal situations in corporate world where people are just saving their own asses! I have lost my passion due to this kinds of people. As far as I remember, never really received any proper 'Thank You' or proper appreciation from the team. I know, we do have annual dinner, annual team dinner, annual secret santa events and all where it were supposed to show appreciation to the employees and team. But to be honest, the one thing that the staff really need is the genuine appreciation from the managers and bosses. Nothing else really matters or can keep us sane to stay in the toxicity of the environment.

Phew!! What a relieffffff after saying all those things. Been keeping all those things to myself since FOREVER! hahaha! 

I think its enough for now, promise next posting will be a happier ones! hehe

Toodles!

A Fresh Starts

 Hi! 

Feels good to be back here. 15 years has gone by since my first post on my first blog previously. 

I just feel that I need to start writing again in order for me to pour every words in my head. I realized that I tend to keep every word in my head, and eventually makes me overthink and it will linger in my head for a very long time. Hence, I decided to pour everything in a journal. 

At first I was planning to have a physical book or journal for me to write everyday. But seems like it might be quite difficult and time consuming for me to do the physical writing. So, here I am! Back to blogging as my own mind therapy!

As I think blogging is more convenient and easier for me to track everything. Most people now prefer to write and treat Social Medias (Instagram, Twitter & Facebook) as their journal. But for me, those Social Medias are too vulnerable and open to be criticized and also one of the main reasons for me to avoid sharing my thoughts there. It is not that I am not open to any comments, but people there are too brutal and daring, I guess. HAHA! 

Soooo, this marks the start of my journey to share all my thoughts, fantasies, dreams and everything!

Gosh, feels really good to have the power to write anything comes to my mind!

Will share more on my thoughts very soon!

Toodles Peeps! XOXO